By Mary O. Mitchell
Dating; It’s a process we’ve all been through at some point in our lives, sometimes only briefly, sometimes frequently, sometimes with long intervals in between, sometimes never ending. Yet, with all the experience “under our belts,” why do we end up as only a name to be forgotten, amid the piles of people who were just “okay?” Okay dates…not bad, but no one to write home about. Easily forgotten. The opposite of what we so desperately strive for. We want to make a good impression…a lasting one. We want to be different! Bold! Unforgettable! Except, how do we do this?
What makes time with one person a lasting treasured memory, and another just another date? Is there something that helps separate the men from the boys?
If there’s one thing to remember that helps to insure a lasting impression with the ladies, it is this…be unique! Be or do something that is totally you as an individual. Something she will long remember. Be different in your approach. Instead of a dozen roses, place one on her seat in your car. Place one rose when she’s away underneath the windshield wiper of her car with a romantic note saying there’s only one of her, like this single rose.
Instead of a whole box of candy, give her just one piece wrapped in a small box with a note that says, “You are like this candy…sweet, enjoyable, and to be savored over time, bit by bit!”
Think back, recalling as many dates as you can. They were more than likely all made up of the same elements, with the same basic format, weren’t they? Probably they included dinners, movies, or concerts? Basic, boring, standard formulas carried out time and time, again. They’re comfortable, but predictable also. Even though she may have in her head what movie that was seen, or what restaurant you two dined at, the things that she will carry in her heart will be the little special things you did to impress her. Isn’t her heart where you’d rather be?
Expense does not always insure a superb time. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that the more expensive the evening is, the better. This is not always the case,and quite often only leaves her wishing for a more informal, intimate evening. Although most women do enjoy a gala event, these should be saved for later, if possible… after you’ve captured her heart. A blanket spread under a willow tree with a picnic lunch, and a daisy for her will provide endearing memories of the event and possibly cause her to become anxious for more.
Try to keep in mind to always focus on her as an individual. What can you do just for her that she would consider to be special? Have you heard her mention a song that she liked, or certain music she liked listening to? Present her with a tape or CD of the music or an individual song she likes. This may become “your special song” as a couple.
By giving her something “concrete” to take with her, this assures that she will have an outward reminder of you every time she notices it. A souvenir to brag to her friends about how thoughtful, and romantic you are, and how special she must be in your eyes. Even if it’s only a note scribbled on a fragment of paper saying that you had a great time, will surely be cherished for the thought.
Remember it’s the little things that will make you stand out in her mind and heart, not something that anyone else could do – or has already done for her. Be original. Be creative. Be remembered!
One of my most unforgettable dates ended with this surprisingly little romantic gesture. After dinner, my date asked for a paper napkin. At the time, I thought it was strange since we were both using cloth napkins for our dinner. Figuring that maybe he wanted to wipe his glasses, I soon forgot that he’d even asked for the napkin. He excused himself and headed for the restroom. Later as he was walking me to my door, he pulled from his pocket a folded up napkin, secured with a rubber band around it. “You can’t open this until I leave” he said, with a smile across his face. Obviously curious as to what it could contain, I was anticipating the moment when it’s contents could be revealed.
After he left, I carefully removed the green rubber band from the rolled up napkin and unfolded it. Here is what he had written on it: “I just wanted to let you know that this was one of the best evenings of my life. You are a lovely lady and I have enjoyed your company immensely! I hope this is only the first of many days and nights we will be spending together. I just wanted to let you know!”
Needless to say, this man made an overwhelming impression, with just this simple gesture of writing on a napkin. We went on to develop a lasting relationship. Why? The idea, that if this man was this attentive and romantic on our first date, he would more than likely be a man that I would want to be around for a long time.
Sometimes the tiniest efforts show the greatest character. These are the little things that a woman will treasure. These are the memories she will value and save. These are the ideas and gestures that will set you apart from every other man who is interested in her. If she is the girl of your dreams, focus on coming up with something, unique and romantic to capture her heart, instead of her head. You’ll definitely be the date she will remember!
Mary O. Mitchell is a 49-year-old published freelance writer/author. She writes articles about singles, seniors, relationship issues, parenting issues, poetry and is currently working on two romance novels.