If you’re single, it’s likely that you’re using dating Web sites like job seekers use Monster and Hotjobs, hoping that you’ll find someone who fits your dating profile.
The TV commercials love to trumpet the fact that one in five relationships today start on an online dating site. The thing that irritates Dr. Kenneth Ryan is that they fail to mention what happens AFTER people meet online.
“The term ‘online dating’ itself is deceptive,” said Ryan, author of Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads: How to Find a Quality Guy Without Getting Your Heart Shredded (www.findingyourprince.com). “You don’t ‘date’ online. You meet online, but the dating that occurs after all the emails and online chats is something people still find confusing and frustrating. Figuring out how to write a decent profile for a web site is only step one. Steps two through marriage are more about relating in-person than online. If people do not know how to evaluate and grow a relationship, they end up discouraged or part of the 50% divorce statistics.”
Dr. Ryan, who has spent years with his wife counseling engaged couples about sex through their church classes on marriage, has aggregated some of his best advice on dating into a list of the five most common mistakes made in dating. They include:
Don’t Be Too Passive – Some women feel helpless and hopeless because few men have shown interest in them. They sit alone at home hoping Prince Charming will one day knock on the door. There are many ways a woman can improve her connections with guys and make herself more appealing. They are not helpless or hopeless.
Don’t Be Too Aggressive – Women who come on too strong look desperate and may scare off quality guys. Predatory males look for desperate women because they will do almost anything to get a guy. Learn how to engage men without coming on too strong.
Don’t Be Naive About Men – If a woman does not understand the huge difference between men and women when it comes to sex and relationships, she will get burned. If most of her guidance for relationships comes from popular media and peers, she is working from a position of ignorance. Movie makers couldn’t care less about your life. They just want your $14 movie ticket.
Don’t Panic – Women become so fearful that they will never find a guy who loves them that they abandon their convictions and make irrational, dangerous decisions. Some painful effects are immediate, while some might not surface for years.
Don’t Sleep with the Boyfriend – Every woman must make her own decision and it is a huge decision. This is the most common and most harmful mistake. It causes an avalanche of problems, many that the woman does not anticipate. Sex with a boyfriend might seem romantic or exhilarating but there are hidden fangs that will cut deep. You can’t put a condom on your heart.
“It’s not easy to navigate the shark-infested waters of the dating world, but if you can follow these basic tips, you shouldn’t have to worry about being someone else’s prey,” Dr. Ryan added.
Dr. Kenneth Ryan, author of “Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads” offers straight talk with a twist of humor about relationships garnered from years of not only counseling engaged couples about sex, but from his own marriage and living with three teenage daughters. He understands the yearning of most young women to be loved and cherished by a great guy. Dr. Ryan started writing for his three daughters – everything that they need to know about the truth of relationships and sex so they will always be two steps ahead of any guy they might date.